


Lost Time

by xsprites2



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsprites2/pseuds/xsprites2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian was ready to take that next step in his relationship with Kurt. He never expected to be this domesticated but he knew he wanted this. Unfortunately, can one accident change all that? Rated T for language...eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Is This Happening?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually a hardcore Klaine shipper but because RIB doesn't care about that, I have started to read Kurtbastian fanfics because Klaine fics take too much of a toll on my heart. I liked them so much in fanfics that I have decided to write my own. The flashback in this chapter takes places after "Dynamic Duets" but a couple of days before the Klaine phone call in "Thanksgiving." Enjoy!~~~

Sebastian sat at the table nervously as he patiently waited for Kurt to get arrive for dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant, albeit that he was fifteen minutes early. He had planned this day for a while now, wanting for this day to be extra special so he turned his cell phone on silent to prevent any interruptions. It was May 27, 2015...Kurt's twenty-first birthday and he couldn't wait to surprise Kurt with his present. Sebastian quickly took out the small velvet box in his pocket and placed it on the table. He opened the box carefully to make sure it was still in there for the fiftieth time today.

He stared at the engagement ring with anticipation, ready to slide it onto the finger of the love of his life. Sebastian had spent the last two months thoroughly looking for the most perfect engagement ring for his Kurt. He didn't care how much money he had to spend because seeing Kurt smile would all be worth it. Sebastian and his family were loaded to begin with but the money he used was the money he earned solely from his job. This way, Kurt could tell that Sebastian was serious about their life together and willing to work hard to make Kurt happy. As he placed the box securely back into his pocket, he chuckled at his situation.

If someone would have told his seventeen year old self that he would one day to be happily married to someone, Sebastian would have just scoffed. He didn't do relationships, let alone marriage. It was all too messy and domesticated for his personality. What was the rush? Sebastian just wanted to have fun with as many hot guys as he could considering his age and insatiable libido. He didn't need a ball-and-chain to drag him down. Who knew that in three years all that would have changed? Even though he was only twenty now, the notion of being in a long-term relationship with Kurt didn't scare him at all as it once did. Even the thought of being married to him made Sebastian smile like a complete idiot.

He smiled fondly at the memory of bumping into Kurt that fateful day...

 

* * *

_During the beginning of Thanksgiving break of his senior year at Dalton, Sebastian traveled to New York to scope out possible college choices. He needed to get out of boring Ohio, really only considering New York as the place he could see himself living in. He wandered around aimlessly this particular November 20th afternoon, taking in the sights of Times Square. As Sebastian rounded a street corner, he bumped into a person who was also turning the corner. "Watch where you're going," the person sassed. Sebastian stilled at the recognition of the high-pitched voice._

_"Hello to you too, Gay Face," Sebastian said with his signature smirk as he turned to him. He watched as Kurt stared back at him with his mouth gaping. A few seconds passed with Kurt still staring at him in utter shock, causing Sebastian to chuckle. "If you take a picture, it'll last longer you know."_

_Kurt shook his head to slip out his reverie. "What are you doing here Smythe?", he asked with shock still evident in his voice. Kurt never expected to see Sebastian Smythe in the flesh now that he had moved to New York. He didn't expect to see him even when he returned to Ohio to visit family knowing that they lived in different, although somewhat close by areas._

_"Looking for some hot tail since they are sparse in Ohio," Sebastian answered with a devilish grin and wink. Kurt rolled his eyes in an over-exaggerated fashion and proceeded to walk away from him. Sebastian actually missed their biting banter that he didn't want their meeting to end right then and there. "How's lover boy?" he called out to Kurt._

_He knew that Kurt recently ended things with Blaine but he couldn't miss the chance to rub it in. This is what happens in relationships. You think it is filled with glitter and rainbows but the reality is that they eventually end, leaving you an emotional wreck. It is much easier to be like him and protect your heart from that pain._

_Kurt stopped in his tracks, his back still facing Sebastian. When he made no movements, Sebastian walked up to Kurt to see that he had tears streaming down his face. The sight of it made Sebastian regret that he mentioned Blaine at all._

_Shit...why did he have to be such an ass? He had said that he would try to be better after the whole David Karofsky mishap but his dick-ish side came out from time to time. "Hey, are you alright? You wanna go sit somewhere and talk about it?" he asked as he placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. Kurt gave him a quick nod so he grabbed Kurt's wrist and dragged him to the nearest diner._

_By the time they slid into a booth, Kurt had stopped crying but his nose and eyes were still tinged a light pink. Kurt just stared down at his lap, picking at his fingernails. Feeling uncomfortable at the awkward silence, Sebastian was relieved when the waitress came to the table to take their order. "What can I get you two handsome men?," she asked with her pen ready. Kurt shook his head no but it was soon followed by a growl coming from his stomach. "Bacon cheeseburger and a vanilla milkshake please," Kurt whispered with a light blush on his cheeks. He normally ate healthy but with his mood, he needed to indulge himself._

_"I'll have the same," Sebastian stated. They both sat in silence as Kurt looked out through the nearest window, lost in thought. Sebastian drummed his fingers on the tabletop just waiting. Waiting for the food...waiting for Kurt to just say something. Finally, the latter occurred. "He cheated on me," Kurt found himself blurting out. It felt good to say it out loud to someone new, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. "He said he was sorry and that it didn't mean anything but I wouldn't have any of it."_

_Sebastian nodded because that was really all he could do. What was the point of saying sorry? He didn't have a part in it and it wouldn't change the past. He knew that they broke up, using it as a reason for Blaine to come back to Dalton and the Warblers, but he didn't know the details as to why. Just another reason to avoid relationships like the plague. It's best to just move on with life...that's all you really can do._

_"I was thinking about NYU as a real estate major, maybe a minor in the arts. So Hummel...tell me about work and your re-application to NYADA," Sebastian stated when the food came, hoping to shift the conversation elsewhere._

_Kurt looked at Sebastian like he had gone mad. Where was the meerkat that he hated so much and dreamt of pushing into a moving car? How did he know about that he was working or reapplying? Kurt eyed him cautiously, waiting for the poisonous fangs or devil horns to come out so he can rub it in Kurt's face that he had Blaine now. To his surprise, it didn't. Maybe this version of Sebastian he could get used to...possibly even like._

_Kurt took a deep breath to tell him everything that has happened since his move to New York and Sebastian tried his best to pay attention to every detail as they ate their food._

* * *

 

Sebastian looked at his watch to see it was exactly 6:30PM, the time he and Kurt were to meet up. He sat up straighter and smoothed down his shirt from wrinkles. Knowing Kurt would be there any minute now, his heart beat quickly against his chest. He could feel his palm become clammy and a slight sweat break out. This was it...a whole new level to his relationship with Kurt and he couldn't wait.

Ten minutes passed with still no sign of Kurt. Kurt was always punctual when it came to meeting up with Sebastian. Maybe he was just caught in traffic or was running late from work. He decided to wait another five minutes...if he was still a no show, he would give Kurt a call. Another ten minutes passed causing Sebastian to worry. Kurt would never be this late without calling.

_Shit._

Sebastian had forgotten that his phone was on silent. He quickly took it out of his pocket to check if there were any missed calls or texts from Kurt. Instead, he found over twenty missed calls and ten voicemails from an unknown number. Before he could think anything of it, his phone lit up signaling an incoming call from the same unknown number. He picked it up and held the phone to his ear, "Hello?"

As the voice on the other line spoke to him, Sebastian felt tears welling up in his eyes. He quickly grabbed his jacket and rushed to his car. He sped down the streets to get to his destination as soon as possible. Sebastian cursed at himself for not checking his phone sooner as tears fell down his face.

Why was this happening? Why to his Kurt? Was this karma coming to bite him in the ass for his teenage years? Was this the universe's way to tell him that he didn't deserve happiness or Kurt? He soon entered the parking lot, parked his car, and ran into the hospital.

Kurt had gotten hit by a drunken teenage driver and now was in surgery.


	2. Just Here....Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, the Klaine talk from "Thanksgiving" and the Klaine plot from "Glee, Actually" never occurred so...yeah. =P I find it funny how I am a Klaine shipper but I'm taking out important Klaine moments ;P Gotta make room for Kurtbastian! Anyways...Enjoy! ~~~~

Waiting is the worst part. Not being able to know right away if something had gone wrong, if someone had passed away already, or if someone will ever wake up again. It takes an emotional toll on even the strongest person. You start thinking the worst possible scenarios and pray that they aren't coming true. After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.

So Sebastian did just that...wait. Waiting for the surgery to end, waiting to see Kurt again. He had to force himself to breathe evenly to prevent hyperventilation and syncope. He couldn't stop rubbing his hands together ever since sitting down 10 minutes ago and will not stop till he knew that his boyfriend was okay. He had to be okay...

Sebastian was informed upon arrival by a nurse that the eighteen year old drunken driver had called 911. Kurt was still awake and responsive when the ambulance arrived but expressed pain in his left leg, where he had been struck. He had a couple of cuts to the face and arms due to the fall but nothing serious. Unfortunately, Kurt had hit his head on the curb which caused him to pass out from a concussion on the way to the hospital. Sebastian knew he was going to make it but it's hard not to think the worst.

He wouldn't allow Kurt to be taken away from him so easily...not his first real love. He would kill that teenager if given the chance. That was a promise.

 

* * *

_Since bumping into each other in November, Sebastian and Kurt have exchanged numbers and talked almost every day, whether it be through phone or Skype. He never noticed how easy it was to talk to Hummel but then again, he never really tried in the past. Besides the usual witty banter, Kurt would talk about work and his joy in getting into NYADA while Sebastian would talk about Warbler practice and school. Blaine was still a sore spot to talk about but Kurt held his own when he was brought up from time to time._

_So I guess you could say they were friends now. Some might even say good friends if a label was actually put on it._

_Kurt had invited him to come back to New York for New Years to see the ball drop in Times Square for the first time. It also didn't hurt that he could spend Sebastian's birthday with him. It was now 11:58PM on the chilly December 31, 2012 night._

_Just two minutes away from the New Year...two minutes away from his eighteenth birthday. Besides being able to drive in New York, eighteen was nothing monumental. Being twenty-one was important since he would be considered an adult and it allowed him to be shit-faced with alcohol...legally._

_So why was turning eighteen important for Sebastian?_

_His eyes quickly scanned the vast crowd who were eagerly waiting for the ball to drop to signify a whole new year was ahead of them. His eyes eventually drifted back to the boy beside him. Kurt stood with his glasz eyes glued to the ball and a smile on his face while hugging himself to keep warm._

_The sight of it made a smile tug at his own lips. Sebastian didn't know when it happened but he knew. He liked Kurt Elizabeth Hummel...more than a friend should. He liked everything about Kurt: his sharp mind, his lean but muscular figure, the way his nose and eyes crinkled when he smiled or laughed, and his pale but smooth and flawless skin. What he liked most was his eyes with swirls of blue, green, and grey. He could literally just stare at them for days on end. Being new to feelings, Sebastian doubted they were even real but having Kurt to talk to only reaffirmed that he did have feelings for his ex-enemy._

_He was cautious at first, taking time to sort out his feelings and debating for a week if he should tell Kurt. It was all so scary and new to him but that just made it all the more exhilarating for Sebastian. He knew that before anything could happen, he had to make sure Blaine wouldn't get in the way. Sebastian knew it was wrong of him to lie but when Blaine and him would meet up for coffee once in a while back in Ohio, he would say Kurt was truly happy in New York. He would slightly rub it in Blaine's face of the talks they were having whereas the lack thereof between Blaine and Kurt. He didn't completely lie if that counted for anything. Kurt was indeed happy in New York and he still didn't forgive Blaine for cheating._

_10_

_9_

_8_

_7_

_This was it...the time has come to make his feelings known. Ringing in the new year with his first ever boyfriend._

_6_

_5_

_4_

_3_

_Sebastian didn't know if Kurt would even return his feelings. Kurt was still scarred by the failure of his first real relationship. If he did, Sebastian would be over the moon at the fact that he would finally be in a real, loving relationship. If he didn't...well Sebastian really didn't want to think about that. It was now or never...no chance to turn back now. He was adamant on that._

_2_

_1_

_"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" they shouted as they both turned to each other. Sebastian quickly placed his hand onto the back of Kurt's neck, guiding his lips onto his own. He stayed there, putting pressure onto the older boy's lips and patiently waited for Kurt to push him away and/or slap him._

_To Sebastian's utter disbelief, it never came and soon enough he felt Kurt kiss him back. They kissed lightly for another ten seconds before backing their heads away. "So...," Sebastian found himself stuttering, "Will- will you be my boy- boyfriend?"_

_Sebastian scanned Kurt's face to see any type of reaction that would depict the answer but it was completely blank. He started to freak out in his head. Oh crap! He's going to reject me. I am so embarrassed. Why am I such an idiot?!_

_"It's no big deal or whatever...I mean if you say no, I'll finally come to realize that this was just some stupid crush anyways. How could I, Sebastian Smythe, like someone like you?," he found himself babbling out. "I'm not saying you're bad or anything! Shit..I'm-," he tried to quickly correct himself before he felt Kurt's lips on his once again, effectively cutting him off._

_When Kurt pulled away moments later, he laid his forehead against Sebastian's. "You talk too much Criminal Chipmunk," Kurt breathed out with a smile, "My answer is yes, if you haven't figured that out by now." Sebastian could feel his knees turn to jelly so he applied most of his weight onto Kurt to keep his balance. "It's cold and you're crushing me, let's go back to my place," Kurt whined._

_Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at the implications to the last part of Kurt's sentence. He suddenly felt a light smack across his arm. "Take your mind out of the gutter, Bas," Kurt snapped, "Do you want your birthday gift or not? It's back at the loft." Sebastian could only nod as Kurt took his hand into his and dragged him back towards the Bushwick apartment._

_Rachel had decided to spend New Years with Brody so when they arrived at the loft, they had it to themselves. Kurt quickly grabbed the wrapped present from his bedroom and handed it over to Sebastian, "Happy 18th Birthday! Don't hate it, okay?"_

_Sebastian quickly unwrapped it and looked at it to see it was a 2013 calendar with a meerkat theme. He burst into laughter at the gift, realizing how fond he was with the animal Kurt associated him with. "_

_You don't have to be such a jerk about it," Kurt scolded while trying to take the gift back. "I thought it would be perfect for the new year ahead and it was cute. I'm poor, okay. It was the best I could do."  Kurt folded his arms across his chest with a pout when he failed to retrieve the gift._

_"Hey, don't be like that," he said as he pulled Kurt towards him until he was flush against his chest, "I really love the gift." Sebastian dipped his head slightly to kiss Kurt's still pouting lips as his hands wrapped around his boyfriend's waist._

_"It's late, lets go to bed...boyfriend," Kurt finally mumbled against his lips._

_Having a boyfriend was one thing, but hearing someone call him that was another story. Sebastian found himself liking the label despite all the years of avoiding commitment...even if it meant not getting any action. He simply nodded but before he could slip onto the bed, he grabbed a nearby red pen and drew a heart around the "1" of January. Soon they fell asleep...sleeping next to each other with their arms and legs intertwined._

* * *

 

Soon, the lights of the operating room turned off, signaling that the surgery was over. He watched as several nurses helped roll out Kurt who laid asleep on the bed, heading towards his hospital room. Kurt had several bandages on his face and arms as well as a cast on his left leg. Soon the doctor came out and turned to talk to Sebastian. "Kurt sustained a concussion, several cuts to his face and arms but there wasn't any serious damage," the doctor explained while reading the papers on his clipboard, "Kurt's leg was fractured in the accident. We have him in a cast for that which will take roughly 6-8 weeks to heal. Everything else seems to be normal. I have prescribed some pain killers for his discharge in a couple of days. Kurt should wake up within the next hour."

Sebastian found himself waiting once again. At least this time, he could sit next to Kurt's bed, holding his hand until he woke up. This was just a snag in their upcoming life together. Soon enough, they will be back on track. He would do anything to make Kurt's healing process go smoothly without a hitch. Sebastian waited thirty-five excruciating minutes before the hand beneath his stirred. He looked up to see Kurt's eyes flutter open, relieved to see those beautiful eyes once again.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" he asked, giving Kurt hand a light squeeze. Sebastian watched as his boyfriend stare back at him and pull his hand away from Sebastian's.

"Who are you?"

* * *


	3. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my knowledge that my story's plot might be similar to that of The Vow but I wouldn't know since I have never seen that movie nor do I have any desire to watch it. Channing Tatum does not pump the blood through these veins. =P

Sebastian blinked a couple of times to make sure he heard correctly. It was some kind of joke right? Kurt had to be kidding, just playing some cruel joke on him.

He tried reaching for Kurt's hand but he pulled it away again. "I- I'm going to get- get the doctor for you," he tried to say steadily but failing as he pushed the notify button repeatedly. Sebastian could feel his heart shatter and the room spinning. This couldn't be happening. Everything was wrong...all wrong. When the doctor arrived at the door so did Rachel Berry.

"Sebastian, what happened?" she asked with concern.

Sebastian wanted to respond with a sarcastic comment but it wasn't the place nor time and talking to the doctor was the most important thing right now.

"Kurt...he doesn't remember me," he said directly to the doctor, ignoring Rachel. He watched as the doctor made his way to Kurt's side, taking out his mini light. He flashed it onto Kurt's left eye and then his right.

"I'm Dr. Brown," he introduced himself, "Can you tell me something about yourself."

Kurt cleared his throat to speak. "My name is Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," he said hoarsely, "I'm currently eighteen years old." Sebastian and Rachel looked at each other at the same time, shocked at Kurt's words. "I just started my senior year at McKinley High," he continued, "I have a father named Burt, a step-mom named Carole, and a step-brother named Finn. I also have a boyfriend named Blaine Anderson."

At Kurt's last statement, Sebastian could feel the room start to spin again. It was suddenly hard for him to breathe and made him lose his sense of balance but Rachel caught him in time before he could fall. This wasn't some joke. This was real. Kurt had forgotten him. Wiped clean from his memory.

"Let's talk outside," the doctor suggested as he walked towards the door. Once outside, the doctor continued, "It seems as though Mr. Hummel is suffering amnesia due to the concussion he sustained from the accident. As of right now, he has no recollection of the past three years."

"Is the memory loss permanent?" Rachel asked when she sensed that Sebastian was at a loss for words. All he could do right now was watch Kurt through the small window. Watch the love of his life look back at him with no emotion.

"It is possible for Mr. Hummel to regain his memory but only time will tell," Dr. Brown answered candidly before leaving.

Sebastian slumped against the wall to support himself, feeling as if he no longer had any strength left in his body. He soon felt a hand on his shoulder, "Maybe you should head home and rest. I'll stay with Kurt tonight since he'll remember me," Rachel suggested, "I'll take care of informing his family and getting Kurt up to date. Hopefully I can get him to remember something."

Sebastian found himself nodding as Rachel gave him a reassuring smile. He really didn't want to leave but he also didn't want to bombard Kurt since he was now a complete stranger to him. At least his best friend could stay by his side while he couldn't.

Sebastian finally made it back to his big, empty condo in the Upper East Side. Without turning on any lights, he made his way to the bedroom and plopped onto his king-sized bed. He haphazardly changed into his pajamas and climbed under the covers. He really wanted to sleep so he could wake up, knowing that everything that happened was just some nightmare.

All through the night, sleep escaped Sebastian as he continually stared at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at the empty side of his bed, clutching onto the blanket tightly as a wave of cold washed over him.

 

* * *

_"Happy 19th Birthday-New Years-Anniversary Sebastian!" Kurt shouted at the top of his lungs as the clock struck midnight before giving Sebastian a deep kiss on the lips while watching TV in Sebastian's living room._

_School holiday breaks were a blessing to both Sebastian and Kurt, giving them even more time to spend together. With Kurt's first demanding whole year at NYADA and Sebastian's first jammed-pack semester at NYU coming to an end, they really needed a breather._

_"We really should have spent this moment back at my place. That way Rachel and Brody could spend it with us too. The more the merrier," Kurt reasoned when he broke the kiss._

_Sebastian tightened his hold of Kurt's waist as he nuzzled into Kurt's neck. "I can't stand to watch Berry and her man candy undress each other with their eyes," he breathed against Kurt's neck, "Spending those three things with just you is good enough for me. Perfect actually because I could do this."_

_He proceeded to nibble gently at the area under Kurt's earlobe, eliciting a breathy moan from Kurt. Within moments of regaining clarity, Kurt was pushing him away making Sebastian pout in response. He tried to latch back onto Kurt but his boyfriend was having none of it as he held his hand up to stop him in his tracks._

_"Reign in your hormones, Smythe!" Kurt chided him, "Presents first. Funny business later." Sebastian flashed his infamous smirk, eager for the night to end. Before he could protest, Kurt cut him off._

_"Here is your birthday and anniversary gift," Kurt said as he handed him a box with a ribbon on it, "It's not much but it's all I could afford and I put a lot of thought into it." Sebastian quickly undid the bow and opened the box to reveal a photo album. On the cover, it had his and Kurt's name embroidered in script on it._

_"Did you do this yourself?" Sebastian asked as he looked up in disbelief at his thoughtful boyfriend._

_Kurt gave a quick nod and shrug, "That would explain why I had those band-aids on my fingers a week ago which you were pestering me about. Who knew stitching that would be harder than stitching clothes together? I've never hurt myself before."_

_Sebastian looked back down at his gift, opening it to skim through the photos. Every photo was in chronological order and had a small note under each, written in Kurt's beautiful penmanship. It contained a year's worth of photos of their dates, school dances, home activities, places they visited, and much more._

_Sebastian couldn't believe his boyfriend did this for him. How did he get so lucky to have Kurt, let alone make him stay? He quickly placed it onto the coffee table and pulled Kurt into a tight hug, "I love it...I love you."_

_Turns out turning nineteen was another monumental age for Sebastian as it was the first time he ever said I love you to anyone besides his parents. He had been apprehensive in saying it to Kurt as he was unfamiliar with relationships, fearing he would say it too soon or say it without meaning it. Kurt understood that about him and accepted it. Kurt would give Sebastian all the time he needed to be able say those three significant words when he was ready. Never getting mad or upset when Kurt would say it to him but get nothing in return. But Sebastian didn't regret saying it now because it was true. He really did love Kurt, for quite some time now actually. His gift would depict that quite clearly._

_"I love you too," he heard Kurt whisper, "I have a copy of my own back at my place so you could write some notes in my version next time." Sebastian loosened his hold on Kurt to give him a soft kiss on the cheek._

_"I guess it's my turn now," he said as he fished Kurt's gift out from his pocket, "Happy Anniversary."_

_Kurt accepted the small box wrapped in a ribbon eagerly as he always liked receiving gifts. He quickly undid the bow and opened the box. What he saw caused him to gasp._

_In it laid a small, silver key. He looked up back at Sebastian as tears welled up in his eyes. It couldn't possibly be a key to what he was thinking of. He didn't even know Sebastian was thinking about that step in their relationship. He did JUST say 'I love you' which was a big step for him already._

_"Well...my gift must suck in comparison," Kurt finally mustered up as tears ran down his face._

_Sebastian chuckled at how adorable Kurt was in this very moment. "No it wasn't. It was perfect. I was going to say I love you to go along with this gift but I got ahead of myself," he explained to Kurt, "I've been debating on whether I should ask you to move in with me for a month now, just seeing if there was a reason not to. As it turns out, there wasn't any. You're the first person I ever allowed to get close to me and I'm glad it was you. You make me feel like the luckiest boyfriend on this planet every day and accept me for who I am, flaws and all. Being unable to see you every day due to school or work kills me. Besides, this condo is too big for just one person to live in so I want the person I love to share it with. You don't need to pay rent since my parents pay for it as long as I attend school here so you can save your money. I have already received Rachel's permission to snatch you away and she said you would always be welcomed back at Bushwick."_

_Kurt couldn't believe that this was really happening. He swiped the tears off his face hastily and lunged into Sebastian's arms. "Of course I'll move in with you," he exclaimed. After a few minutes, they detached themselves from each other. Sebastian quickly pulled out his camera from his desk to take a picture of them holding their gifts to add into their photo albums. He then proceeded to pick up Kurt bridal style, "I believe you promised me funny business," Sebastian said with a quirk of his eyebrow and a wink. He watched as his now live-in boyfriend blush a bright red as he led him into their bedroom._

* * *

 

Sebastian clutched the blanket even tighter as he turned to look back at the bare ceiling. Even the blanket couldn't shake the cold feeling of the silent, empty condo.  What he needed was Kurt. He needed Kurt's warm body next to his to sleep. It was what he had grown accustomed to this past year and a half but now he was alone. He didn't like it at all.

He grabbed Kurt's pillow and hugged it tightly to his chest, close to his heart. Kurt's scent from it soon filled his nostrils as he breathed in deeply. Sebastian soon enough felt something wet around his eyes and suddenly, just like that he started crying for the second time since learning about Kurt's accident. He cried till he fell asleep that night.


	4. Strangers Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback takes places almost seven months after getting together (end of June 2013), hence Sebastian's graduating from Dalton. The "work-related trip" I am talking about later on in this chapter was regarding Sebastian's job at a real estate firm. He "had" to go somewhere for work. Sly devil he is... (Real estate agents travel to places for work right?! If not...let's pretend they do =P)

_"Sebastian..."_

_"Wake up sweetie..."_

Sebastian smiled at Kurt's voice, eyes fluttering open to see his boyfriend's handsome face. He instinctively reached over to hold him but he was met with the cold touch of the silk sheets.

With all remnants of sleep drained from his body in that instant, Sebastian sat up to see that he was alone. He ran his hands through his hair shakily, gripping the hairs on the back of neck as reality set in.

Kurt got into a car accident.

Kurt was in the hospital.

Kurt does not remember him.

Sebastian took a deep breath, figuring out what he was going to do. How was he supposed to live his life knowing that Kurt didn't remember him? Like he was just some stranger. A faceless stranger with no connections or obligations to. It was like the string that connected them together has worn thin, effectively breaking apart. He needed to try to get Kurt to remember him and their love. He needed to see him now.

Sebastian reached over to grab his phone to see that it was 8AM on the dot and that he received a text from Rachel.

 _Sebastian-_  
I gave as much information to Kurt as I could to bring on memories. He recalled a little about NYADA and work but nothing else. I had to stop since he was getting intense headaches. Hopefully you will have better luck. Burt, Carole, and Finn have taken the first flight out so they should arrive at my place by 9AM. We will visit Kurt as soon as possible. See you soon.  
-Rachel

Kurt had remembered something about NYADA and work. Sebastian clenched his free hand into a fist in response as he read that line.

Don't get him wrong. It was good that Kurt was having some progress but Sebastian still couldn't help feeling powerless. He couldn't wait till Kurt remembered him...he wanted that so badly. The question was how long it would take to do so.

He spotted the engagement ring box on his desk some feet away. The sooner Kurt regained his memory, the sooner their lives could get back to normal. Sebastian made a b-line towards the bathroom to get dressed and head out to visit Kurt.

 

* * *

 

When standing outside at Kurt's hospital room's door, Sebastian took a peek through the small window. He was lying there, sleeping peacefully. Sebastian opened the door tentatively, making sure not to wake the sleeping boy. When Kurt didn't stir at the sound of the door clicking shut, Sebastian let out the deep breath he was unconsciously holding. He cautiously made his way to Kurt's side, smiling down at his gorgeous boyfriend.

Despite everything, he was glad Kurt was still _alive_. He still could see the other boy's handsome face. Kurt was here...not encircled by a casket. Sebastian watched as Kurt adjusted his head on the pillow, still asleep. He always liked watching him sleep.

 

* * *

_The last year at Dalton had finally come and gone which made Sebastian excited. Not because high school in dreadful Ohio was finally over. It was because Kurt had gone back to Ohio to go to his graduation like a proud boyfriend._

_Sebastian smiled down at his sleeping boyfriend as he came down from his high. He couldn't fathom how it was possible to sleep after such mind-blowing sex. It was their first time as a couple, nearing seven months into their relationship. Despite the numerous times he had gotten laid in the past, Sebastian felt that THIS time was special. Nothing like those one-night stands he used to praise about in his life. This graduation "gift" from Kurt will forever go down in history. If anything, he wanted to do it again despite his growing tiredness._

_"You're creeping me out," Kurt's voice breaking through the silence as he opened his left eye to see Sebastian's green eyes boring into him. "Are you going to axe-murder me?"_

_Sebastian chuckled as Kurt closed his eye again. "I'm no sociopath. I missed you. I just like...watching you sleep. You look so serene."_

_"Everyone looks like that when they're asleep." Kurt stated as he proceeded to scoot over until his head laid against the other boy's chest, eyes still closed._

_Sebastian wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, like it was a natural reflex. "But you just look so breathtaking. I never thought you could look more handsome...that I could like you even more."_

_A blush crept onto Kurt's face at Sebastian's sweet words. Sweet enough to cause diabetes. He nuzzled his face against Sebastian's bare cheat, relishing in the warmth. "Goodnight Sebastian." He soon fell asleep listening to the soft beating of his boyfriend's heart._

_"Goodnight Kurt." Sebastian didn't fall asleep until two hours later, when he felt content enough looking down at Kurt's sleeping body on his own._

* * *

 

Sebastian mind made its way back to reality, the memory blurring away, as footsteps came and gone outside the room's door. Kurt's sleeping form still was as serene as ever.

He couldn't help extending his hand to Kurt's face, pushing away the hairs that had fallen onto his forehead. At the contact of his fingertips against Kurt's skin, tingles shot down his spine. He wanted to hold his boyfriend so much...to kiss him. Caught up in the moment, Sebastian bent his head down and placed a gentle kiss onto Kurt's lips.

Sebastian watched as Kurt stirred under him, seeing a content smile spread across his lips in response to the kiss. Kurt's eyes blinked open, trying to adjust to the light. The smile and serenity soon fading away as his eyes came into focus on the person above.

In response, Kurt jerked away as much as he could in the confinement of his hospital bed. Sebastian could feel a tinge of pain flash through his heart at the reaction he was given but decided to ignore it, "How- How are you feeling?"

"Better than yesterday," Kurt responded, rubbing the residue of sleep from his eyes. "You're Sebastian, right? Rachel told me things about you...about _us_."

Sebastian's eyes immediately lit up. "Please try to remember. Do you remember anything about me?," he asked hopefully.

Kurt took a moment as he tried to think. Search within himself to find those missing pieces. They were strewn here and there in his mind. Kurt was able to collect some pertaining to his memory of NYADA and his job at last night and add those back to the incomplete puzzle that was his memory. They all looked like vague and blurred visions in his head, becoming clearer as the day went on.

What eluded him the most was the recollection of anything relating to Sebastian. To the man that he was supposedly in a committed relationship with. As if the memories were lost forever. He tried to remember last night and he was trying so hard right now. Everything was just a big blur and Kurt reached his limit.

"I don't," Kurt exclaimed as he grabbed his head in frustration, the headache coming back ten times worse. "I don't remember you at all. I'm _trying_...I really am. I can't remember. I can't remember! What is _wrong_ with me?! Why is this happening?!" Kurt clutched his head tighter at the intensifying pain, causing him to thrash as tears formed and fell from his eyes.

Sebastian's own eyes overflowed with tears as he watched Kurt. Seeing Kurt like this...in so much pain was too much for him. The strong man Kurt turned into was replaced by the insecure, vulerable high school boy he had met long ago. Sebastian quickly sat down on the bed and pulled Kurt towards him, enclosing him in a tight embrace.

"Stop...just stop. It's okay," Sebastian cooed. "Don't force yourself. Let the memories come back to you freely. I know you'll remember eventually."

After a few seconds later, Kurt's thrashing seized as the searing pain in his head lessened. After a full minute, no remnant of the headache was left behind as the warmth from Sebastian's body spread through his own. Kurt didn't fail to notice it. How Sebastian's touch, even the simplest ones, made him feel at ease. Like how it was when he kissed him moments earlier and right now.

Maybe what Rachel had told him was true. Maybe his boyfriend was Sebastian and not Blaine, like he thought it was when he woke up. Kurt slowly backed away from Sebastian, breaking the embrace. Glasz eyes met green eyes in an intense stare that lasted for what seemed like hours. Before Kurt could inquire anything, the door of his room opened.

"You didn't forget about me right, kiddo?" Burt Hummel asked with concern as he entered the room, followed by his wife, step-son, and Rachel.

"How could I ever?" Kurt exclaimed happily as Burt made his way to his bedridden son. Sebastian moved to stand next to Rachel, allowing Kurt's family to talk to Kurt. He soon felt a gentle squeeze on his arm. He turned to Rachel who gave him a weary smile.

"Are you okay?," she whispered, not wanting to disturb the family reunion. Sebastian didn't want to disrupt the Hudson-Hummel family as well. He smiled back at the short girl, hoping it conveyed what he wanted. _I will be._

* * *

 

Soon, Sebastian was being ushered out of the room by Burt. When Burt closed the door behind him, he cleared his throat to speak. "How are you holding up, son?"

"In all honesty, I'm miserable," Sebastian sighed as he rubbed his face a couple of times. "To feel like a stranger to Kurt...it feels like I'm dying inside."

"I know it's hard right now. Especially since you intended to propose to Kurt," Burt stated as he gave Sebastian's shoulder a pat.

Sebastian had flown to Ohio for a weekend a month before Kurt's birthday, effectively convincing Kurt that he had to go on a work-related trip. He wanted to get Burt's blessing since the one person Kurt loved above all else, even Sebastian, was his father. Knowing Burt always held a slight, old torch for Blaine, he had tried really hard to prove himself and that Kurt was the one for him. That he loved his son very much for almost two and half years and will continue to do so for the rest of his life.

To his greatest relief, Burt had given him his blessing. Unbeknownst to Sebastian, Burt already had approved of him since he made Kurt happy and they loved each other deeply. "What are you going to do now?"

That question would have thrown anyone off if a person was in Sebastian's position. There were only two options really. One would be to stick with the obstacle, finding a way to face it. The second would be to back out, leaving when things got too difficult.

Sebastian didn't need to weigh the two options because he knew which he would choose right off the bat. Sebastian straightened himself and took a deep breath.

"I'm going to be there for him. I don't care how long it'll take for Kurt to remember. I love your son, sir. I'm not giving up."


	5. Patience

A couple of days later, Kurt was allowed to be discharged from the hospital during the evening. Kurt's family have already returned to Ohio and Sebastian had promised to notify Rachel if anything happened. He had informed Isabelle, Kurt's boss at Vogue.com about the situation. She graciously allowed Kurt to take all the time off that he needed until he got back on his feet as well as give Sebastian her condolences. Since it was the end of May, Kurt didn't have school to worry about either.

"Welcome home," Sebastian stated as he opened the door to the condo while carrying Kurt's bags with his free hand. Kurt awkwardly made his way in the best he could with the use of his crutches. He took in his surroundings as his eyes scanned over the expanse of the place. It was obviously huge, way too big for one person to live in.

"You have a nice home," Kurt said politely. "Really great taste too."

Sebastian smiled fondly as he placed the bags down and closed the door behind him. "It's _our_ home. You should like it since you decorated the place, picking each furniture and making sure they mesh well. You didn't want my help or suggestions, fearing it would ruin the matching scheme."

Kurt smiled in response, knowing exactly that it would be something he would do. If he wasn't into musical theatre or fashion, he would have probably became a decorator of some sort. When he would have a vision of how he wanted something to look like, he followed it down to the tee. "Well then...I must say _I_ have great taste."

Sebastian chuckled lightly. It slowly seemed like they were slipping back to being normal...being _them_. "Do you want something to drink?," he asked as he made his way to what Kurt presumed was the kitchen. "I was thinking Chinese for dinner."

"Water is fine," Kurt answered as he looked around the place once more.

Here he was in this house. A house that he had no recollection of living in, especially living in with a boyfriend. He had always thought if he were to have his own place, it would be with Blaine. Blaine Devon Anderson. The first boy he truly loved and the boy he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

But here he was now. Standing in the living room of this beautiful, spacious condo with Sebastian, his boyfriend from what he was told. Blaine was just a close friend now. It was just something he had to get used to.

"Chinese sounds great."

 

* * *

 

They sat in a comfortable silence while Kurt ate his broccoli and beef with brown rice and Sebastian ate his roast pork lo mein. When Kurt felt full enough, he absently poked the remaining food in his carton with his chopsticks as he thought of something to say. Everything was still new to him and it would take a while for him to wrap his head around his situation. He continued staring at his food, lost in thought.

He could feel Sebastian's eyes shift towards him every few minutes, causing him to tense up. It seemed as though Sebastian had a loss of words as well, opening his mouth only to close it seconds later.

"Sebastian," Kurt found himself whispering as curiosity took over. "From what Rachel has told me, I am your first boyfriend. Why is that? Out of everyone...why me?"

Sebastian took a deep breath as he collected his thoughts, meticulously trying to decide what words to use. The response had to be perfect. In a way, it would be like leaving a first impression all over again. Sebastian and Kurt didn't meet on good terms due to his nefarious plan of stealing Blaine away. This time around, Sebastian wanted to make the _right_ impression.

"Let's just say I used to be very _free_ ," Sebastian stated warily. "The idea of being in relationship, quite honestly, scared the shit out of me. I thought being that committed to a person was ridiculous. I was young and had my whole life ahead of me. Why have someone hold you back?"

He watched Kurt's face for any signs of judgment. Sebastian could have lied, giving a disgustingly fluffy story about waiting for the _one_ , but he decided to go with the truth. It was what Kurt deserved. He just hoped that Kurt would accept him anyways. To his relief, Kurt didn't show any repulsion. He just sat there, listening carefully and waiting for the rest of the story. After a moment, Sebastian continued on.

"Then I eventually met you. Long story short...we didn't exactly start out on the right foot. We finally did become friends, although bickering ones, and somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. You made me realize how great it was to have such strong feelings toward someone and to subconsciously think of a future that included that person. I didn't think it was possible but I wanted it.  I wanted that with you."

Sebastian could feel a few tears building up in his eyes and a lump forming in his throat as he recounted the past... _their_ past. He looked away and swallowed, feeling uncomfortable at how vulnerable he was. When Sebastian found the will to turn his gaze back toward Kurt, he was greeted by a warm smile and glasz eyes boring into him. It made his heart skip a beat because for a slight moment, he thought he had _his_ Kurt back.

"I really hope that I regain all my memories soon," Kurt said as his warm smile was replaced by that of a sad one. "To forget everything between us would be such a terrible waste. I'll try my best, I just need you to be patient with me."

A tear made its way down Sebastian cheek before being wiped away. "Don't push yourself too hard. If I need to wait forever, I will."

 

* * *

 

After eating and watching TV for a few hours, tiredness soon crept onto Kurt and Sebastian. They made their way to the bedroom with Kurt landing on the bed with a thud. Having to haul around the heavy cast on his leg as well as using his crutches took a lot out of Kurt. He wanted to sleep now. He pulled his shirt over his head, replacing it with his silk pajama shirt. He stared down at his legs as a problem arose. How was he suppose to get out of his sweatpants without landing himself on the floor?

Sebastian, seeing the dilemma Kurt was having, made his way over to him. "Let me help you," he stated as he reached for the sweatpants' waistband. He soon felt Kurt's hand cover his, preventing him from pulling at the waistband. He looked up to see that Kurt was bright red, eyes fleeting back and forth in embarrassment. _The eighteen year old Kurt wasn't comfortable with nudity and/or sex_.

"If you do this by yourself, you might hurt yourself," Sebastian reasoned with him. "I won't let that happen...not again. So please, let me help you change into your flannel pajama pants."

After some hesitation, Kurt finally gave a quick nod. Sebastian effortlessly took off the sweatpants and replaced it with the pajama bottoms, finding it endearing how embarrassed Kurt was. "I'm going to shower now," Sebastian stated as he made his way to the adjoining bathroom. "Just in case you pass out before I come out, goodnight Kurt."

 

* * *

 

When Sebastian opened the bathroom door after a much needed hot shower, he had expected his boyfriend to be fast asleep. He saw how tired Kurt was, especially since the painkillers he took after dinner were starting to take effect.

Instead, he was greeted by a loud shriek. Sebastian turned to see Kurt laying on the bed, covering his eyes as his face flushed red. He quickly looked down at himself before the realization hit him. _Right...the nudity thing._ Sebastian had only his boxers on as this was his normal sleeping attire.

"Like what you saw?," Sebastian teased before pulling a shirt over his head and slipping on a fresh pair of sweatpants.

"N-No! I mean, y-yes. I- I don't know!," Kurt babbled before pulling the covers over his head. This caused Sebastian to truly laugh for the first time since the accident as he made way to his side of the bed.

"You...you have a nice body," Sebastian eventually heard Kurt whisper as he settled under the covers next to Kurt. "Goodnight Sebastian."

Sebastian's eyes fluttered shut as sleep came to take him away. Patience. It was what he _needed_ to get through this.

"Goodnight Kurt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so short! I have big plans for the next chapter and the ones after that so stay tuned.
> 
> The next chapter will most likely take place three(?) months later. Warning for the next chapter: Blaine will make an appearance! Things are about to get serious yo!


	6. Furious and Disgusted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The arrival of Blaine in my story! Hopefully you readers don't hate him that much in this chapter if you're rooting for Kurtbastian. =P This chapter will be jammed packed with stuff! I shall warn you that there is some cursing in this segment.

_~.~.~ Three months later ~.~.~_

These past few months flew by rather quickly. With the recovery of Kurt's leg, he was able to go back to work. For Sebastian, his day was like clockwork.

Wake up, go to work, come home, eat, shower, and sleep. In a few days, school would start up again for the both of them at NYU and NYADA.

In the first week back from the hospital, Sebastian had been pushed off the bed almost every day by Kurt. He wasn't used to having someone else in bed with him and it was just a reflex. Kurt would profusely apologize but Sebastian would just laugh it off. Everything has now seemed to be going at a steady rhythm despite the bumpy beginning. The only thing lacking would be Kurt's memory.

No matter how many days have passed and how many times they interacted, Kurt still had no recollection of memories pertaining to Sebastian. It seems as though Kurt was recalling everything else and it was driving Sebastian insane. Sebastian knew that he had to have patience but it was wearing thin. He longed to touch Kurt, to kiss him...to feel loved again.

It also didn't help that Blaine was also more _present_ in their lives now. Upon hearing about Kurt's accident, Blaine wanted to visit more often. Sebastian didn't like that he was around but he hid his irritation for Kurt. Kurt had thought they were still together when he woke up from the accident and he had forgotten the reason they had broken up. So at this point, Kurt still wholeheartedly regarded Blaine as his best friend and the love of his life. Kurt was well aware to hide the latter part, knowing that it would kill Sebastian.

Blaine had promised he was just there to be a friend but it irked Sebastian regardless. Behind Blaine's innocent puppy eyes, Sebastian knew he was up to something.

_Blaine is coming over for dinner tonight at Rachel's loft. Come by! See you later.  
-Kurt_

Sebastian read the text he just received over and over again. He was furious. This would be the third time this week Blaine was over for dinner, either at his condo or Rachel's apartment. He wanted to get there straight away, not wanting to give Blaine the opportunity of being alone with Kurt. Kurt was respectful of Sebastian's feelings but Blaine was another story.

He might act like the perfect prince but Sebastian saw through that charade. He knew how capable Blaine was at hurting Kurt, cheating being the most offending. He wasn't going to allow Blaine to hurt Kurt again. Not after all his efforts at keeping Blaine away from Kurt, despite the former's effort in trying to win the latter's heart back. Kurt ultimately had allowed himself to be friends with Blaine again... _ONLY_ friends. At least, Rachel would be there to watch over Kurt carefully for him until he got to the Bushwick apartment.

Unfortunately with the announcement of an impromptu meeting, Sebastian was stuck at work for another hour...on a freaking Friday. He didn't pay much attention to what was being said but he had a jist of the contents. Something about a "great" opportunity to work at the real estate firm's California branch for a year. No one seemed like they wanted to go due to ties to New York. Most of the employees/agents had either family or family of their own here.

In Sebastian's case, he had to agree that it was better than Ohio but Kurt was here. After everything that had happened, he could never leave now. He tapped his foot in an impatient manner as the heads of the firm went on about mulling over the offer before dismissing it completely. When the meeting was officially over, Sebastian found himself rushing out the door.

 

* * *

 

"Kurt, sorry I'm late but I had a meet-," Sebastian started as he opened the door to the loft with the spare key hidden under the doormat.

His breath hitched and his eyes widened at what he saw. Kurt was lying on the sofa with Blaine looming over him, their eyes closed and their faces getting closer and closer to each other. Rachel was nowhere to be seen. _Where the fuck was she?_ They both snapped their heads towards Sebastian, as an annoyed expression spread across Blaine's face.

Shock was soon replaced with wraith as Sebastian charged towards them, yanking Blaine off of Kurt by the shoulders. He pushed him into the nearest wall, Blaine's back hitting it with a loud thud.

"What the fuck, Anderson?," Sebastian yelled into Blaine's face, his arm pressing firmly against the other boy's throat. "Take your hands off my boyfriend!"

A smug smirk made its way onto Blaine's face. The sight of it only infuriated Sebastian more, instinctively pressing his arm down harder over the throat. Blaine still had the smirk on as he lifted his arms and pushed Sebastian away, causing the latter to stumble back a few steps.

"Boyfriend? What boyfriend?" Blaine exclaimed as Kurt cautiously made his way to Sebastian's side. "Why can't you get it through your thick skull? It's been fucking three months Sebastian. He still doesn't remember you! Give it up already."

Sebastian wanted to lunge at him again but he was held back by Kurt. "Nothing happened, I swear…," he heard Kurt mutter. Blaine saw it as an opportunity to continue his taunt.

"Can't you see that Kurt isn't happy with you? Living in that stupid condo with you. You can't keep pretending everything is back to normal and you can't keep him locked up. It's killing you, isn't it? That the one you love is in love with _me_. He loves me, not you!"

Sebastian looked back at Kurt to see if what Blaine said was true. Kurt shifted his eyes to the floor, guilt evidently on his pale face. So this was what Blaine had planned all along. He wanted to get close to Kurt again, taking advantage of the fact that Kurt didn't remember. That he didn't remember Blaine had cheated on him. Sebastian's fury flew into unmeasured levels as he broke out of Kurt's hold and punched Blaine square in the jaw before pressing Blaine back into the wall.

"Back off hobbit," Sebastian growled out as he pressed Blaine into the wall harder. "You lost your chance with Kurt. You will never get to hurt Kurt ever again as long as I'm here. Don't forget what happened to your eye. That might have been an accident, just imagine what I could do purposely!"

He soon felt a pair of hands grip onto his arms and yank his hold off from Blaine. Kurt came to Blaine's side within a second to see if anything was broken. When he turned his gaze over to Sebastian, the latter could feel his heart sink. What Sebastian saw in his face was a mixture of anger, sadness, and pure _disgust_. He hadn't seen Kurt give him that look in a very long time. The time when he was the asshole who had hurt Blaine. The person Kurt considered evil.

Kurt gripped his head tightly with both hands and cried out slightly in pain. For a moment, Kurt looked like he was in trance but was soon brought back. "I remember something," he started.

"I remembering Blaine getting a scratched cornea...," Kurt whispered. "The slushie...Y- You're the one? You're the one who hurt him?!" he exclaimed, his voice rising with each word, all laced with venom. "What is wrong with you?!"

This couldn't be happening. After months of waiting for Kurt to remember something about him. _Anything_. Why this? Why remember the worst thing that Sebastian has ever done? To be reduced back to the arrogant teenager who never considered consequences. The person he wasn't in almost three years. A person he never wanted to be ever again. Especially not to Kurt.

A feeling soon started to creep through his own body, making him shiver.

 _Disgust_.

Sebastian even felt disgusted at himself. That threat he threw at Blaine was uncalled for, no matter how furious he was. He wasn't that person anymore. All because he wanted to be better. For Kurt.

"I- I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered, sending an apologetic look over to the two boys. "I'm going t- to go."

As Sebastian made his way out of the apartment, he could hear Kurt call his name. Not turning back, Sebastian was determined to make his way to the nearest club. He couldn't will himself to turn around since tears threaten to spill. He didn't want to appear weak and vulnerable. He couldn't face his boyfriend - probably ex-boyfriend now -, at least not now. Hopefully his fake ID will work tonight.

 

* * *

 

"Another!," Sebastian exclaimed over the loud pulsing music to the bartender. Two hours. That's how long Sebastian has been at the bar, drinking beer and taking shots. Of what? He couldn't even remember at this point. He could only estimate how many he has taken so far at this point. Two? Four? Fifteen? "Fifteen," he mumbled to himself as he finally finished counting the empty shot glasses in front of him.

Two beers and fifteen shots later, he finally feels warmth spreading through him, replacing the feeling of disgust that had lingered. The warmth that comforted him for a short time soon seemed too much for him. Sebastian just feels hot now. He pulls at his tie, effectively loosening it but it didn't help to release the heat. A figure soon appears next to him but his alcohol-soaked brain fails to process a reaction fast enough. When his head and eyes finally do look up to the person, he sees a charming grin.

He couldn't have been older than twenty-five, Sebastian guessed. If he had to admit, the mysterious guy was hot. Very hot. The type of guy Sebastian would definitely turn into a conquest if he was still that arrogant, easy teenager that didn't know when lines were being crossed. But wasn't he still that person? At least...that was how Kurt saw him now.

"Hey sexy. Wanna have some fun?" the hot blonde guy asked, the smirk still on his lips.

Sebastian's gaze slowly turned to the guy's hand that had appeared on his thigh, caressing it gently, and then back at the guy's face. Before answering, Sebastian gulped down the rest of his second beer.

Returning the smirk, "Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you guys were wondering, Blaine does live and goes to school (NYADA) in New York as well. It was part of his efforts to get Kurt back but obviously he failed. MUAHAHAHAH. Also, Sebastian is still twenty at this point of the story, as stated in the first chapter. That is why he still needed a fake ID.


	7. Emptiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall warn you that there is more angst to come (especially in this chapter; the chapter's name kind of gives it away, huh?) before it gets better. No worries though, I intend to have Sebastian be happy...eventually. Stay tuned!~~~

A light breeze hits Sebastian's face when he is led out of the bar by the hot guy. He doesn't even know his name nor does he care. The less he knows, the less what was going to happen will have meaning. When Sebastian's back hits the wall, the guy wastes no time. He presses his chest against Sebastian's, craning his neck to attack Sebastian's with wet, open kisses.

Sebastian feels like he needs this...to be _wanted_. Even if it wasn't by Kurt, the love of his life. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to rid the thoughts of his boyfriend. _Or was it ex-boyfriend now?_ Sebastian has been ignorant long enough. Although he didn't want to admit it, Blaine was right. Despite his greatest efforts, he knew that he couldn't hold onto Kurt any longer. Trying to hold on for dear life when in actuality, he was just grasping at straws.

What was that saying again? If you love something, you should let it go?

Maybe it was time for Sebastian to let go.

"God, you're so hot," the guy says between kisses, his breath hot against Sebastian's neck. Sebastian merely tangles his fingers in the guy's hair in response, letting him kiss him with heated passion. The guy's hands soon roam lower down Sebastian's body, until his fingers grabbed the waistband of Sebastian's pants. Sebastian reflexively grabs hold of his wrists, stopping them in their tracks.

"Easy tiger," Sebastian huffs. "We're in public."

It was a lie. He didn't actually care they were making out in public. It would normally make it even hotter for Sebastian, the thrill and all. The problem was the man in front of him. Hot as he may be, Sebastian was just not into it like he thought he would be. Something was off. Honestly...it just felt _wrong_.

The dullness of his brown eyes. The fact that the guy was taller than him. The color and messiness of his hair. The feeling of his chapped lips on Sebastian's neck. How rough his hands felt on his skin. It was wrong because he wasn't Kurt.

The older man detaches his lips from Sebastian's pulse point hesitantly, moving his head back to look at Sebastian's face. "My place is just a few blocks down. We can continue the fun there," he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"No thanks," Sebastian responded as he pushed the man off of himself. He turns his head to look down the block, scratching at his chest absently. "I'm not in the mood anymore. I think I'll just go for a walk."

Sebastian makes his way down the block, ignoring the man calling after him. He lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair, frustrated at the inner battle he was having in his head. What happened?

He fully intended on getting laid tonight to relieve stress but in the end he just couldn't. Not with the image of the perfect, angelic Kurt plastered in his mind. Kurt had changed him for the better. Hook-ups no longer seemed appealing as it once was. What he wanted was a relationship. He wanted Kurt and _only_ Kurt.

Sebastian let out another frustrated sigh as he continued to walk back towards his condo.

 

* * *

 

When Sebastian finally made his way into the condo, he noticed a faint light. His eyes scanned the dark living room to see Kurt on the couch, sleeping peacefully. _Was he waiting for me?_   The thought made his heart flutter at the possibility. Sebastian made his way to the couch and cautiously sat down next to the sleeping body, making sure not to wake him. The light from the moon was cascading itself through the window, illuminating Kurt's flawless face. It was truly breathtaking...

He couldn't help reaching forward to push the hairs that had fallen on Kurt's forehead away, causing his fingers to lightly graze Kurt's skin. It immediately sent shivers up and down his spine. Even after all this time, the feel of Kurt's skin could make his body react. Sebastian soon found himself leaning forward, gently placing a chaste kiss onto Kurt's forehead. This time...it felt right.

The contact caused Kurt to stir. He sat upright sluggishly, rubbing sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. "Sebastian?"

"Yeah, it's me," he started. "What are you doing out here? Let's go to bed."

Sebastian started to get up until he felt a hand grab onto his arm, pulling him back down on the couch. He looked at the hand that was gripping his arm then back at Kurt's face. Green eyes met with piercing glasz eyes. Sebastian could feel himself get lost in those eyes but the sound of Kurt's whisper brought him back to the present.

"We need to talk."

Sebastian could feel the color drain from his face. How could one short, simple saying invoke such trepidation? He could feel his heart and body tensing, involuntarily bracing themselves for the blow that what was sure to come.

"After what happened earlier, I have been thinking and have talked to Rachel about it," Kurt began, gazing intensely into Sebastian's eyes. "It would be best if I move back to Bushwick...tonight."

Sebastian blinked once...twice, making sure he heard correctly. When he processed what Kurt was saying, tears immediately pooled in his eyes and cascaded down effortlessly. In the corner of Sebastian's eyes, he saw them. The packed suitcases that eluded his eyes before, next to the door. All ready to be moved...moved out of his life. He could hear something shattering. It definitely was his heart.

"Pl- please don't," Sebastian pleaded, his hand now gripping onto Kurt's. He felt pathetic that he had to beg but he couldn't help it. "Stay. Stay with me."

Sebastian watched as Kurt shook his head sadly, tears forming in his eyes. "Me being here isn't healthy for you. I see how hard you're trying to be okay with everything, holding onto the past for dear life and it's killing me inside. Its been three months Sebastian. I know I told you to be patient with me and I've tried so hard to remember. I want more than anything for me to remember you and our love...but it's time to _let go_."

 

* * *

 

The room is silent besides the sound of Sebastian's steady breathing.

Sebastian stared blankly at the ceiling as he lay on his back. His hair was a mess and his eyes were still puffy from crying the previous night. There were no more tears left for him to shed. He couldn't sleep, not with the void that was now in place of his heart. He just felt numb. _Empty_.

Luckily it was the weekend because that is how Sebastian stayed throughout. In bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how tired he was, sleep escaped him. He had no strength to do anything so he just stayed put, burning a hole into the ceiling with his stare. He could hear the bustling sounds of cars and people outside his windows. It was New York afterall...always in motion. Whereas life went on ahead outside, Sebastian's life was at a standstill.

Eventually, Monday came around. Sebastian turned his head slightly, reading the clock on the wall. It was 6:30AM, thirty more minutes till he had to get up for work. The sound of his phone vibrating broke though the calm. When Sebastian finally looked at it, he saw several notices. Seven missed calls, twelve texts, and one voicemail from throughout the weekend. All of them were from Rachel except the voicemail. That was from Kurt.

He could feel his heart quicken as he waited for the voicemail to play. The sound of Kurt's voice, even though it was through a phone message, made Sebastian's heart skip a beat.

_Hey Sebastian, it's Kurt. Rachel has been trying to contact you but you never answered. I'm starting to get worried. I know...I know how it can't be easy for you, after everything that has happened. Especially last night. When you're ready, I'll always be here to lend you my listening ears. Just please call me or Rachel back so we know you're okay. Please be okay. Bye, Sebastian._

Sebastian would automatically press "1" so he could hear the voice message over and over again without conscious effort. Kurt's voice. It was like a drug to him. Never seemingly getting enough. His alarm clock eventually rang, echoing through the bedroom, finally breaking him out of his trance. He had to get out of here. Out of this house. This life. Sebastian knew what he needed to do.

 

* * *

 

He straightened his tie and brushed his shirt down, smoothing out any crinkles. It was a rash decision but he needed to do _something_. He couldn't very well stay the way he was, wallowing in his sorrow. Over something... _someone_ that he didn't have anymore. Over Kurt. His life here was empty. He needed to get out. He needed to breathe.

Sebastian knocked on his boss's door. When the stern voice was heard, allowing him to come through, he took a deep breath and turned the doorknob.

Mr. Rogers looked up from his place at his desk to meet his employee's eyes. "What may I do for you, Mr. Smythe?"

Sebastian took another deep breath, thinking his decision once over for the last time. His decision was final.

"I would like to take up that offer, sir. To work at the Californian branch for a year."


	8. 52 Weeks

Making his way into the living room, Sebastian sits down on the couch after setting his cup of tea on the coffee table in front. He sits back, sighing as he runs a hand across his forehead to wipe away the sweat. After a tiring weekend, Sebastian has finally settled into the newly rented house.

Thankfully getting used to California time and weather was no problem for Sebastian. Taking the job here wasn't a bad choice after all. The company paid for his flight, rental car, and the rent for the furnished house in San Diego. The house was simple and located in a nice, quiet location. It wasn't as big as his condo back in New York but it was big enough for one to live comfortably.

Sebastian's eyes looked at the almost barren walls, mundane and generic pictures scattered around. This was his home now for the next 52 weeks.

 _Home_.

But it really wasn't, was it? Home is where the heart is. His heart definitely wasn't here. Sebastian knew this very well but accepted it. It was just something he had to get used to. He presses his head into the back of the couch, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

 

* * *

_A plethora amount of empty boxes were strewn across the condo, ready to be filled and packaged to make the trip to California. Sebastian asked himself why he thought three days' time was enough to pack his stuff. It just didn't seem possible. He had just accepted the offer yesterday._

_Granted, Sebastian wasn't packing every single thing. His dad was still going to pay for rent so he would have a place to come back to when the year in California was over. Even then, he still had a lot of stuff to get organized and placed neatly for the move. At least it would take his mind off of a certain someone, even if for only a little while._

_Scratching his head in irritation, Sebastian knew he had to get to work. He was about to start the laborious work when the doorbell rang. Letting out a sigh of relief, Sebastian made his way to the door. His packing buddies were finally here._

_"Hey Sebastian," Rachel greets as she makes her way into the condo, followed by Brody. "Brody and I will help in any way possible."_

_Sebastian smiles in gratitude, "Great. Later, dinner is on me. Do you guys want anything to drink first?"_

_"Some tea would be nice," Rachel responds._

_"Same for me," Brody answers._

_The three make their way into the kitchen. Rachel and Brody seat themselves on one side of the kitchen island as Sebastian grabs two mugs and teabags. When Sebastian thinks he steeped the teabags enough, he passes the mugs to his two friends and seats himself on the other side of the kitchen island._

_"So...this move to California. That was a surprise," Rachel says warily after taking a couple of sips. Sebastian watches as Brody shoots her a quick glance before going back to concentrate on his own tea._

_"It was a spur of the moment decision but it's only for a year. I'll be back before you know it," Sebastian says, tensing as Rachel's gaze bore into him._

_Rachel gaze soon drops down to the warm mug that she is cradling in her hands. "What about school?"_

_"I am deferring for a year. NYU can wait and besides, I'll be taking online courses over in Cali," Sebastian responds tentatively. He knows Rachel is just making small talk, trying her best to avoid a certain topic she actually and obviously wanted to ask about. Brody continually focusing on his mug like it grew a head only confirmed his suspicions._

_Rachel was now tracing the rim of the mug with her finger, eyes fleeting between Sebastian and her mug. "This is because of Kurt, isn't it?"_

_"Rachel," Brody immediately warns, eyes still focused on the mug in his hands._

_Rachel shoots a glare at her boyfriend, "What? We don't hear from him for two/three days and suddenly he informs us that he's going to California. We both are thinking it."_

_Sebastian knew it was only a matter of time before Kurt was brought up but the mention of his name is still too much for him. The pain that is currently searing through his heart is excruciating. He finds himself wrapping his arms around himself as if it would help dull the pain._

_Might as well be truthful now. Rachel isn't the type to let things go easily._

_"You're right. Ku- He is the reason why I took the offer," Sebastian responds honestly, eyes glued to the floor as tears started to form._

_"So you're just going to run away?" Rachel asks exasperatedly. "What about Kurt? He's been asking about you. He wanted to come over but he knows you need space. California is a really big step. You need to think about this Sebastian!"_

_"What do you expect me to do?" Sebastian asks, his hands now gripping the counter-top of the kitchen island as the tears freely cascade down his face. "Everywhere I turn, I am reminded of him. He is the one person...the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Knowing that can never happen is just too much, Rachel. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I feel like I'm suffocating because he was my breath of fresh air."  
_

_Sebastian gives himself a moment to wipe away the tears on his face but they are replaced with fresh ones soon enough. He realizes how futile it is and decides to continue._

_"It literally feels like I'm dying from a broken heart. Ku- He isn't mine anymore. You need to accept that. I need to accept that and move on. I know it makes me seem weak but I just need to get out of here. Please...just please be understanding," Sebastian says with finality.  
_

_The three of them sit uncomfortably in silence while Sebastian gets his breathing and tears under control. Soon after, they all start to get to work. Rachel and Brody were placed in charge of packing miscellaneous things such as books, toiletries, and some kitchenware while Sebastian worked on packing his clothes. Since California had nice warm weather, Sebastian was relieved that he didn't need to pack those thick or puffy coats and jackets that would take up too much space and be a hassle anyways._

_By the time Sebastian folded and packed roughly 78% of his wardrobe, it was almost time for dinner. After taking a quick shower and getting dressed, he was ready to go out for dinner. He had to get some semblance of food in his system before he could collapse._

_Sebastian makes his way to the living room where Rachel and Brody were sitting on the couch, focusing on something between their laps. "You guys must be starving, what are you two feeling for di-."_

_He stops in his tracks when he sees what they were looking at it. It was what contained almost two and a half years worth of happiness. Happiness that no longer seemed to exist to Sebastian. The photo album._

_Turning their heads slowly to face Sebastian, they both had guilty expressions on their faces. Brody is the first to speak. "Sorry man, we didn't mean to."_

_"We just wanted to see what it was. See if you would want to bring it to California," Rachel chimes in next as she closes it. "It's amazing. Sums up your relationship with Kurt beautifully. I'll just go and put it in the box."_

_She starts to get up but Sebastian holds up his hand, effectively stopping her. He takes the album in his hands, weighing it delicately. He brushes over the cover with his hand before making his way over to the nearby bookshelf._

_"I think it would be best if I don't bring it," Sebastian sighs as he places the album on the almost empty bookshelf. He takes a deep breath before turning back to his friends that are still sitting on the couch, now with worried expressions. "Let's go eat."_

* * *

 

Sebastian opens his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings once again. Starting tomorrow, his year in California begins. 52 weeks of pure work. 52 weeks till he has to go back to New York.

Getting up from the couch with his cup in hand, Sebastian makes his way to the kitchen. He dumps the now cold tea in the sink and rinses it before setting it on his cup rack. Sebastian proceeds to make his way to his bedroom upstairs slowly, yawning along the way. Work tomorrow was going to start bright and early.

This is his life now and this is his home now. Sebastian had to get used to that. Good thing he had 52 weeks to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! A flashback! :] Unfortunately, this is more of a filler chapter.
> 
> If you were wondering, Sebastian's move to California was at the end of August/beginning of September. The next chapter will probably be a time jump.


	9. Days Passed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will include several snippets from Sebastian's life throughout his year in California. Like I stated in the last chapter, Sebastian's move to California was at the end of August/beginning of September (in 2015).

_Friday November 20th 7:12PM_

What could Sebastian say besides TGIF? After a hectic week, he looked forward to lounging around in his house doing absolutely nothing. Its been a couple of months since he has been in California, allowing him to settle in nicely. As of right now, Sebastian was out of energy to do anything, including cook.

It would explain why he was currently sitting in front of his computer in his study, about to eat a microwavable TV dinner.

Sebastian first checks his email, seeing several from Rachel throughout the day. He thought it was unnecessary but Rachel insisted on updating him on the whereabouts or condition of Kurt. It pained Sebastian to hear about it but it also gave him some comfort, knowing that Kurt was safe and happy.

_\- Sebastian! We all miss you! Come visit us for Thanksgiving if you can. Kurt is cooking! Brody says hi._

_\- Kurt and I have been doing well at NYADA. He's been taking on more courses so we could graduate together as Class of 2016! Will we expect to see you at our graduation?_

_\- I just noticed Blaine has been suspiciously visiting more often. No worries though...I will try to keep my eyes on him. TEAM KURTBASTIAN FTW!_

Sebastian couldn't help chuckling at the last email. She didn't approve of Blaine ever since the whole cheating debacle. At least Rachel had his back, even if he was currently on the other side of the United States.

Next on the agenda was checking his Facebook account. Sebastian played all his games before going through all the information in his newsfeed. After scrolling through ridiculous status updates and Instagram pictures for the better of 10 minutes, a new post caught his attention.

_Kurt Elizabeth Hummel is in a relationship with Blaine Devon Anderson_

At that moment, it was as if time froze and the world stopped turning...at least that was how Sebastian felt. This couldn't be happening.

Sebastian read it again for good measure, making sure he didn't read it wrong the first time. As he read it over and over, he had to accept the fact that he wasn't mistaken. His worst nightmare has finally happened. He had lost Kurt to that damn hobbit.

Sebastian looked down at his barely half-eaten TV dinner, already gone cold. Appetite far gone, he tossed it into the trashcan underneath his desk before shutting his laptop down. Since he couldn't punch Blaine in the face, Sebastian settled on throwing something. He grabbed the closest thing, arm dialing back, ready to chuck it into the wall. Before he could do so, realization hit him.

Bringing the item to his eyes, Sebastian was glad he caught himself before he did something he would regret. He caressed the picture frame gingerly with the swipe of his thumb before placing it back down at its rightful place on the desk.

It was a photo taken by Rachel of him and Kurt kissing at Times Square at midnight, ringing in the New Years as well as celebrating Sebastian's birthday and their second anniversary. He didn't notice the picture was packed along with his things until he unpacked upon arriving in California. Rachel must have snuck it in when he was busy packing elsewhere.

After thinking it over, Sebastian grabbed the picture in one hand as his other opened the bottom drawer to his desk. He looked at the picture once last time before putting it into the drawer and shutting it.

 

* * *

_Thursday December 31st 11:59PM_

On this late night, Sebastian finds himself sitting and nursing his fifth alcoholic drink in his hand. One of his co-workers had invited him over to his New Year's party. Finding no reason to refuse due to lack of plans, he didn't think it would hurt to attend. It also didn't hurt that there was going to be lots and lots of alcohol available to drown himself in. He watches as his co-workers and others mingle with each other, excitedly waiting for the ball to drop on the television screen.

No one bothers to talk to him besides the occasional brief greeting but Sebastian doesn't mind. Sure he has been working with a good number of these people for the past few months but he has never gotten close to anyone. No point in building friendships that were going to be put on hold or be ended inevitably when his year was up at the Californian firm.

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!_

Sebastian sighs and downs the rest of his drink as the couples in the room kiss one another. His mind wanders to New York...to _Kurt_ without his permission. New York's New Year has already happened three hours ago but it still upsets him. Kurt was happy...with _Blaine_.

It was just three years ago when Sebastian became the happiest man alive. Starting a relationship with Kurt that he was sure would last. Now here he was. Despite being surrounded by numerous nameless people, he was essentially alone. Just like how he was back then. Before Kurt. Who knew in three years everything could change so drastically.

A buzzing from his phone eventually broke Sebastian out of his reverie. Without thinking, he picked up the phone. "Hello."

" _Hey, Sebastian...it's Kurt_ ," he said, sounding sleepy. Sebastian couldn't believe his ears. Kurt was calling him. It perked him right up, erasing the slight buzz the alcohol had given him. He quickly made him way to a room far away from the noise made by the party-goers.

"H- Hey. Isn't it 3AM over there?"Sebastian asked, trying to keep his voice level. It would explain why Kurt sounded so tired.

" _Yea, it is. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and Happy New Year since I know California is three hours behind_ ," he said followed by the faint sound of him yawning.

Sebastian could feel his stomach flutter at Kurt's thoughtfulness. "Thank you, that means a lot to me. I _really_ want to keep talking but I think you need your beauty sleep, Princess. Next time though."

He listened as Kurt chuckled and let out another yawn before responding. " _Sl- Sleep sounds good. You should really come visit when you're free. We all miss you...I- I miss you. Goodnight Sebastian_."

"Goodnight Kurt."

Even though the phone call wasn't that long, it definitely was the highlight of the new year as well as his 21st birthday. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face to save his life even if he tried.

 

* * *

_Thursday May 26th 8:56PM_

Sebastian eyes his phone nervously for several seconds before flitting to the clock on the wall and back. He has been doing this for five minutes now, just trying to find a reason to not do it.

Along with Rachel's daily updates on Kurt, he has taken an interest - or obsession if you ask others - in tracking Kurt's Facebook account activity ever since New Year's. He knew it was not healthy to do this but he couldn't help it. He can stop now if he needs to. Might need to deactivate his account to do so but whatever.

That call on New Years and his birthday had given him hope even though it was just a sliver. The hope only grew with continued contact with Kurt through texts and emails even though those lost memories were still...lost.

Granted, seeing the numerous amount of sickening love proclamations and overly cute couple pictures with Blaine nauseated Sebastian to no end. It was killing him inside but he needed to know. He needed to know that Kurt was happy and to make sure Blaine was treating him correctly. It was the reason why he was putting himself through this torture.

Sebastian tried to move on. He really did. He went on several dates to do just that but in the end, none of them felt like the _one_. He would always be able to pick out certain unwanted attributes or characteristics that he used as excuses. To put it simply, none of them were Kurt.

 _Maybe he is already sleeping..._ Sebastian thought to himself. He looked at the clock once more to see it was about to turn 9 o'clock...which meant it was soon to be midnight in New York. He runs a hand through his freshly washed hair before picking up his phone, deciding to go though with his plan.

As he waits patiently for the call to be picked up, his breaths become shallow and quick. At the hello, Sebastian's breathing hitches and catches in his throat. "Hey, K- Kurt. It's-"

 _"Sebastian_ ," Kurt supplied, a smile evident in his tone. " _What may I owe this pleasure to_?"

He couldn't keep a smile from spreading on his own lips at Kurt's light teasing. "I hope I didn't wake you. I just wanted to wish you a 'Happy 22nd Birthday'."

" _I was just about to go to bed actually since Rachel is staying with Brody tonight_ ," Kurt revealed. " _You're the first one to say that to me_. _That means a lot, thank you._ "

Grateful that Kurt wasn't there to see it, a smug smirk was now in place of the smile from earlier. Sebastian was immensely pleased that he beat the "perfect" boyfriend to it. He felt like prodding a little bit now. "So...made any plans with _Blaine_?" He gritted out the name, knowing it would leave a bad taste in his mouth in its wake.

" _Uh..._ ," Kurt paused for a while before letting out a sigh. " _Yea, tons of plans. Tons. Can't wait.._." His words were suppose to indicate excitement but the tone was revealing just the opposite.

Even without being face to face, Sebastian knew Kurt was hiding something but he didn't want to force Kurt to divulge against his will. "Look, if there's anyone you need to talk to, just know I'm always here. I- I'm going to let you sleep now. Goodnight Kurt."

" _Oh...okay than_ ," Kurt's tone a bit sad that the conversation was being cut short but accepted it. " _Goodnight Sebastian. Thanks again_." And with that, the call was ended.

 

* * *

_Wednesday August 31st 4:52PM_

Sebastian was in the process of packing his things to leave work before an assistant notified him that Mr. Murphy, his boss, wanted to see him. As he arrived at the already opened door to the grand office, Mr. Murphy was going through some documents at his desk. Straightening his tie, Sebastian knocked lightly, revealing his presence.

"Come in Sebastian," he said as he tidied the papers into a neat stack and set them to the side. "Please have a seat."

Many thoughts swam through Sebastian's head as he made his way to the cushioned chair. Fearing the worst, he started to think of anything he could have done wrong the past few days but he was drawing an utter blank. Was it getting hot in there or was it just him? "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Mr. Murphy proceeds to nod and places his folded hands on top of the desk. It wasn't until he smiled that Sebastian felt like he could breathe again, easing his worrying mind.

"It has come to my attention that Friday will be your last day here," he started out. "I must say it was a pleasure having you work at this California branch of the firm."

Sebastian gives a genuine smile as he relaxes more. "The pleasure is all mine. I had a great year here, sir. Everyone has been so nice and I have learned a lot."

He watches as Mr. Murphy nods while twirling his thumbs around each other in his still folded hands. "I'm glad to hear that, Sebastian. Well I called you in here today to make you a proposition. Everyone has agreed that you have made a fine addition to the team and I have seen the stupendous work you've done."

Sebastian can only nod as his boss continued, waiting to see what he was leading up to. Mr. Murphy smiles once again before delivering the final blow, "I hope to keep you so...I am offering you to work here Sebastian, from now on. What do you say?"


	10. Come Back To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE decided to write an epilogue for this story but for now, I hope you guys like this chapter and are happy with it.
> 
> Oh look...another flashback =D. By this point, Kurt has only failed to regain his memories regarding his relationship with Sebastian back as well as Blaine's cheating. He only remembers the Sebastian who tried to steal Blaine away and the devoted Blaine. How inconvenient, huh? =P

Sebastian swiftly makes his way to the coffee shop, the light breeze sending chills down his spine on this bustling September 3rd afternoon. When he finally walks through the door, his eyes scan through faces of numerous customers. His eyes soon finds the one he is looking for, sitting peacefully with a book at a small booth in the corner. He is unable to contain the smile that is slowly spreading as Sebastian takes him in after all this time.

Sebastian also can't help how his face lights up when _he_ finally looks up and sees him, a smile of his own spreading across his flawless face. When Sebastian makes his way to the small booth, he can't help but pull him into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you again Kurt. I hope this is mine since the line looks pretty long," Sebastian says as he lets go, turning to see the slow moving line filled with impatient customers.

"Yes, of course. Black, no sugar if I remember correctly. It has been year since I last saw you." Kurt states with a toothy grin as they both take their seats across from each other.

"Yet you still know me so well," he can't help saying without his signature smirk in place to which Kurt rolls his eyes at good-naturedly. "How have you been?"

Kurt leans forward slightly, excited to talk. "I've been good. I graduated a few months ago as you should know since I'm sure Rachel is still badgering you about missing it. Everything at Vogue is still going great and I'm going to auditions on the side. I should be asking you the same thing. How was California?"

"It was alright I guess," Sebastian states, running a hand through his hair. "The weather was great and my co-workers were nice and all but...I guess nothing beats New York." _Or you. Actually just you._

"Well I'm sure Rachel would be happy to hear that as well as see you," Kurt states, tone turning serious for a moment. "I love her but she's been driving me up the wall with all the wedding planning even though she got engaged just a week ago. I'm literally scared for Brody's life."

A chuckle escapes Sebastian's lips and it turns into a full-blown laugh when he sees Kurt glaring at him. "Well I'm here now so we can both share the feeling of wanting to strangle Rachel and possibly dispose her body when we murder her."

Kurt tries to fight off the smile that is already slipping out, "Yes, you are here now." He places his hand on top of Sebastian's and gives it a light squeeze. "I'm really happy you're back. I missed you. We all did."

Sebastian can't stop the slight blush spreading across his cheeks nor the quick flutter in his heart at the touch. _God, he was still so much in love with this man. A man that has a boyfriend._ "I really missed you...guys too. How is Blaine anyways? You haven't mentioned him."

Sebastian watches as the smile on Kurt's face slowly dissipates at the mention of Blaine as Kurt retracts the hand that was still on his. He immediately misses the warmth of Kurt's hand on his. "I- I broke up with him. Back in June, exactly three months ago actually."

Sebastian was incredibly happy to hear that but squished the feeling down, knowing a sympathetic look was more appropriate. "I'm sorry to hear that. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand but my ears are here for listening if you need."

"Ummm...," Kurt shifts his eyes from Sebastian to the table and back. "It actually had to do with you somewhat..."

 

* * *

_"Kurt! Please let's talk about this. I don't want to fight anymore. Kurt, let me in," Blaine exclaimed as he banged on the door to the loft in quick succession._

_They had been fighting since the day before Kurt's birthday so that would make it nine days filled with yelling and tears, the latter mostly from Kurt. He never thought it would ever get this bad with Blaine. Their relationship always seemed so perfect. Too bad perfect didn't exist. To be fair, this wasn't the first time they had fought either. Ever since they started dating, Blaine was always so clingy and possessive. It felt suffocating at times but Kurt would always brush it aside, reminding himself over and over that Blaine just loved him that much. Maybe a little too much._

_Kurt emits a loud sigh before sliding the door open, not wanting to disturb the surrounding tenants further. Blaine quickly makes his way into the loft, spinning around to face Kurt with an angered expression._

_"You wanted to talk so talk," Kurt whispers with slump shoulders when he comes to stand next to Blaine. Fighting with Blaine really was taking a toll on him physically and emotionally. He didn't have anymore fight in him._

_Blaine proceeds to cross his arms across his chest, putting on a defensive stance. "I told you that I don't want you speaking with him ever again. You're my boyfriend, Kurt. And now I have to worry about a guy named Adam Crawford that keeps flirting with you. I had to hear about it from Rachel! Why are you doing this to me? To us?!"_

_Kurt can only stare at him incredulously. "I'm not doing anything that justifies you yelling at me. Sebastian is my friend and he's important to not only me but Rachel as well. You know that. I don't know how many times I need to have that discussion with you. And besides, I didn't think I needed to tell you about Adam because he isn't that important and I only see him as a friend. Why don't you believe me? I would NEVER cheat on you."_

_Blaine rolls his eyes and turns slightly away from Kurt. "You did it once before," he mumbles, not really wanting Kurt to hear but Kurt catches it anyways._

_Kurt feels he reached his emotional breaking point when tears flow freely down his face as his heart practically shatters at the mention of his history with Chandler. Anger soon boils and courses through his veins. "Oh my god! That was NOT cheating, that was texting! You forgave me for that just like I forgave you for your texting affair with Sebastian. I can't believe you're throwing that in my face!" Kurt is just_ _done_ _with all this._

_Blaine sighs and places his hands gently onto Kurt's shoulders, "I'm sorry. I just love you so much and I don't want to come here one day and have you tell me that you were with someone else. Sebastian is up to no..."_

_Kurt's eyes widen as a horrible memory reveals itself, dragging his focus from whatever nonsense Blaine was spewing. "Like when you told me you were with someone because you were lonely and I wasn't there," Kurt grits out, pouring venom into his words as he spits the words back in Blaine's face. He removes Blaine's hands from his shoulders like they're the most vile thing to ever touch him, "Sebastian doesn't live in this state right now! I can't do this anymore Blaine. We're over. We can go back to being friends eventually but not now. Please leave."_

_Blaine panics, cradling Kurt's face with his hands. "No, please. Don't leave me." Blaine smashes his lips against Kurt's, hoping the spontaneity of the act would change his mind._

_Kurt was having none of it. Being forcibly kissed wasn't going to make him stay with Blaine and it only reminded him about his unwanted kiss with Karofsky all those years ago. He successfully pushes Blaine away, smacking him in the face with a strength he didn't know he had without a second thought. "GET OUT. NOW!"_

_Blaine just simply nods his head in defeat after he gets over the initial shock and walks out._

* * *

 

"So yeah, Blaine and I are just friends now and it's going to stay that way for good. That's basically it," Kurt finishes.

Sebastian is speechless as he takes in all the new information. "Wow," he finds himself muttering after a few minutes. "I don't know what to say."

Kurt proceeds to chuckle and dismisses it with a wave of his hand, "It was going to end eventually whether or not I remembered about his cheating incident. Enough time has passed for me to be okay with it. I'm...content now. How about you? Anyone special in your life?"

Sebastian can only huff nervously at Kurt's question. _Besides you, not at all._ "Well if I had any relationship in California, it's obviously over but no, no one special. I won't have much time to date anyways, with the unpacking and getting back on track with school along with work."

Kurt simply nods and they fall into a comfortable silence, enjoying each others' presence.

When they finish their cup of coffee at the same time, both seem hesitant on ending their little meeting right then and there. Sebastian, after gathering enough courage, is the first to speak up. "You know, I never got to spend your birthday with you. Do you want to maybe...come over for dinner at my place around 7? I'll cook."

Sebastian watches as Kurt contemplates this over in his head, bottom lip snug between his teeth. "I have a feeling you only want me to come over to help you unpack but sure. It's- It's a date," Kurt finally answers with a blush spreading across his face, reaching the tips of his ears and his neck.

 

* * *

 

When his doorbell rings, Sebastian can't help the startled jump his body does due to his nerves. He has unpacked only the things essential for tonight. _Food: check. Wine: check. Music: check._ He quickly makes his way to the door, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans and running his hands through his hair twice over before opening the door to a radiant looking Kurt.

"Hey," Kurt chirps before holding up a plastic bag containing a box. "I brought cheesecake!"

Sebastian chuckles and steps aside, allowing enough room for Kurt to slip inside. "Of course you did." _Somethings just never change._

The night went on without a hitch as they both sat on the floor of the living room, eating and chatting animatedly over the soft music playing from the stereo. They eventually fall into a comfortable silence after eating their slice of cheesecake, enjoying the mood the soft music was providing.

On a spur of the moment, Sebastian suddenly gets up and extends a hand towards Kurt. Although Kurt looks at it warily, Kurt takes it firmly in his own and is pulled up.

"Care for a dance?," Sebastian asks breathlessly to which Kurt nods eagerly, heart skipping and blush spreading.

Kurt is shocked when Sebastian immediately gets into a formal dance position. His left hand intertwining with Kurt's right as his other rest lightly on Kurt's back. They sway back and forth to the music for awhile, neither making eye contact. The two eventually move closer to each other, Kurt resting his head comfortably on Sebastian's shoulder as the hand Sebastian has on Kurt's back slips down to his waist and holds him closer.

"I'm really glad that I decided to come back. It beats talking to you only through the phone or Skype. Being here, with you...it's the greatest place to be," Sebastian whispers honestly, low enough that Kurt almost misses it.

This is the moment Sebastian realizes that he is unbelievably happy. He hadn't felt that way since the accident and he didn't want it to end. Sebastian suddenly stops his movements and watches as Kurt faces him, confusion evident on his face. _This is it. Time to put himself out there. Please come back to me._

He lowers his head slightly and gently presses his lips to Kurt's. After a few seconds, Sebastian leans his head back, watching Kurt stare back at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. Before Sebastian can backpedal, Kurt surges forward and crashes their lips together in a searing kiss.

They move around in a frenzy, hands clawing at each others' clothes and lips never parting as their kisses become more and more heated. _God, how much Sebastian missed this._ When Sebastian feels Kurt tense and become still moments later, he stops and eyes him with concern. "Kurt, are you okay?"

Kurt blinks repeatedly as he catches his breath and steps away from Sebastian's grasps. "I don't know," he gets out, fumbling backwards until he accidently bumps into the nearby bookshelf, sending all its contents crashing to the floor. "I'm so sorry. Let me get that."

He haphazardly grabs what's nearby and piles them up quickly but when he touches one certain item, Kurt slows down. He glides his hand across the stitched names and opens it, flipping through the pages.

"Kurt," Sebastian whispers as he makes his way towards him slowly, "Is everything alr-." He stops short when Kurt finally looks up at him, tears in his eyes.

"I got you this. I- I made this for you," Kurt stutters as his eyes flit quickly between the photo album and Sebastian's face. "I remember. I finally remember."

Hope blooms exponentially in Sebastian's chest as he crouches down to Kurt's level within a millisecond. "You remember our relationship?," Sebastian asks with urgency. He has to make sure. He has to know if happiness was possible in this world anymore...his world.

Kurt lunges himself at Sebastian, engulfing him in a bone-crushing hug. "Yes. Yes, I remember everything!" Kurt exclaims as his grip around Sebastian's shoulders tighten, "I love you so much, Seb. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back to you."

Sebastian tightens his grip around his Kurt, his _boyfriend_ , as if he was going to vanish. Never again. With tears sliding down his face, he releases the breath he didn't know he was holding with utter relief.

"It's okay, baby, you came back. You came back to me. We can make up for **lost time** now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap! I love it when I can sneak in the title somewhere ^_^. I didn't really like the flow of the ending in this chapter but I couldn't get it right so I gave up! =P
> 
> Oh my, only the epilogue is left now.


	11. Epilogue: Perfect

Sebastian suddenly jerks awake from his dream. Taking a moment to orient himself, he sees himself lounging in a chair, legs spread out with the photo album splayed across his chest. Sebastian rubs the last remnants of sleep from his eyes before nestling back comfortably in the chair. Taking a deep breath, he goes back to what he was doing before sleep sneakily overtook him.

Looking through the album.

Sebastian always liked going through it chronologically, reliving through the beginning and heading onwards to the present/future.

Sebastian can't help the small chuckle he lets out at seeing the first page. It was a photo of the calender Kurt gave him. He never thought he could ever be fond of being called a meerkat. Seeing the heart around the "1" always made his heart flutter as well. It signified the beginning of his life with Kurt.

Sebastian skimmed through several more pages. _Dates, school dances, home activities, places they visited._ They were all in there. Being too engrossed in the memories, he missed the sound of the front door opening and closing. Soon enough, arms were wrapping themselves around Sebastian's shoulders. He tilted his head back, eyes meeting that of Kurt's.

"Hi," Kurt greets with a smile.

"Hi. I missed you," Sebastian states breathily, feeling himself getting lost in those captivating eyes of blue, green, and grey.

Rolling his eyes playfully and placing a light kiss to Sebastian's forehead, Kurt moves himself to occupy the empty chair next to Sebastian's. "I was only gone for thirty minutes. An hour at most. The fridge doesn't restock itself, you know?" Placing his hand over Sebastian's, fingers soon intertwine. "I see that you're looking at the album again."

"Like I said, I missed you," Sebastian defended himself. It was true though. Any chance he got, he would always drift towards the bookshelf and pull it out to flip through the pictures. "Come here."

Kurt raises a curious eyebrow at him but understands when he sees Sebastian shift more towards one side of his chair. Kurt gets up and wiggles himself into the tight space made for him. An arm soon wraps around his waist as the album is placed between the both of them.

When Kurt looks down to see which part Sebastian was up to, Kurt frowns slightly. It depicted Sebastian triumphantly holding up a deformed frosted cupcake, flour coating his hands, hair, and apron. The cupcake was made as a small gift a day before his birthday. It was the last picture taken before his accident the next day, which meant the next picture wouldn't be till a little more than a year later.

Kurt glances toward Sebastian then back to the album as he flips through the rest of the photos. _Of the night Sebastian proposed. Sebastian's graduation ceremony. Promotion celebrations. Several on Kurt organizing for the wedding._ Kurt swears he did not become the male equivalent of a bridezilla but Sebastian knew better. That poor wedding planner. Kurt definitely ripped her a new one... _Selected few of photos from their wedding._ They had a whole album specifically dedicated to that wonderful day. _Photos of them on their honeymoon in Paris and Hawaii._

"I can't believe we've been married for five years. Time sure does fly by," Kurt states, turning towards Sebastian with a smile. His smile falters when he see sadness flit across his husband's eyes as he stares at the album, if only for a second. "What's wrong?"

Sebastian sighs deeply, rubbing his free hand across his face while the one still wrapped around Kurt's waist tightens. Abandoning the photo album for now, Sebastian turns his focus towards Kurt. He gives a tight smile before sighing again. "I never told you this before but I guess now is better than never."

Intrigued, Kurt shifts closer, eyes still trained on his husband, signaling him to go on.

"After your accident, I thought I lost you forever. You forgetting me...it was unbearable," Sebastian reveals as tears start to pool in his eyes but blinks rapidly to keep them at bay. "When you remembered Blaine, I thought I lost. I remember how in love you were with him so I didn't stand a chance. Who would choose me when the epitome of dapper, prince charming was an option?"

"Bas...," Kurt whispers, wanting to comfort Sebastian but he was cut off from doing so.

"The year that I was apart from you in Cali, I was going insane. I thought that living across the country would give me some form of relief but who was I kidding? You were my life Kurt and without you, it was meaningless. How could I continue living?"

"Did you...," Kurt interrupted but not having the strength to finish the question, fearing something horrible.

"No. Of course not," Sebastian firmly states causing relief to flow through Kurt's body. "I could never do that because somewhere in my brain and heart still held hope for some reason. I couldn't help checking up on you through Facebook..."

"Creeper," Kurt sing-songed with a teasing smirk, nuzzling his forehead into Sebastian's warm neck.

"Shut up. As I was saying," Sebastian huffs with chuckle, "I just needed to know how you were doing. Even if I wasn't happy, I wanted to make sure you were even though Blaine was the cause of it. Seeing you the next day I came back was like a slap in the face. Here you were, handsome as ever, maybe even more, and still the love of my life. I was utterly _ecstatic_ to hear the falling out between you two that I couldn't help but ask you to come over for dinner. And you know the rest."

Kurt slowly nods but he still didn't get his answer. "So why did you look unhappy before? Aren't you happy?"

"Of course I am. It's just...," Sebastian takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes. Soon enough, he opens them again. "It's just when you said time just passes by, it reminded me of that year that we were apart. A year that was practically wasted. I don't want to waste any more of them. I'm just scared you're going to waste more with me."

"Sweetie...," Kurt says with a frown, placing a hand gently on Sebastian's cheek to place a firm kiss on his lips. "This life that we have, its everything that I've wanted. I know my accident has been hard on you but its in the past now. I'm here, with you, forever and always. Nothing will be wasted as long as I'm with you. I love you so much."

"I love you too. So. Very. Much," Sebastian punctuated with a kiss to each of Kurt's cheeks and then one firmly on his lips.

When they eventually break apart for air, Kurt rubs his thumb back and forth across Sebastian's cheek with a smile. "Well I hope so. Cause I'm not leaving anytime soon. I hope your life is very meaningful now since you have me, friends, and our..."

Before Kurt could finish, the front door swung open, bouncing back loudly from the impact of the wall. "Papa! Daddy!" a tiny voice called out as they heard light footsteps running towards the two. "Daddy! Papa! There you are!"

"Oomph," Kurt grunts as extra weight is unceremoniously placed on his lap as their four year old daughter jumps and scurries onto it. "How's my little princess?"

" _Very_ energetic," a breathless voice behind them answers.

Sebastian sheepishly turns his head toward the source of the voice, "Thanks for babysitting Lizzie for a while, Rachel. I just wanted some alone time with Kurt."

Rachel dismissively waves her hand with a tired smile and points towards the door with her thumb, signaling her departure. Only until he hears the door click shut, Sebastian turns back to his daughter. "Elizabeth Olivia Hummel-Smythe, did you give your Aunty Rachel a hard time?"

Elizabeth presses her cheek into Kurt's chest and pouts, "It's not my fault she's slow, daddy. Uncle Brody is faster."

Sebastian gives her a stern look before chuckling, pushing the hairs that fell in front of her face back into place. "How's my baby's day been?"

Elizabeth replaces her pout with a smile, stretching her tiny arm to place it in Sebastian's hand, "Good! I missed you and Papa though. You?"

"Perfect," Sebastian immediately answers. He turns towards Kurt whose attention has turned back onto the album, showing Elizabeth the first sonogram photo of herself, soon flipping to the picture Sebastian took of the million of bags filled with baby clothes Kurt bought. Soon after that, it was a photo taken of Kurt and Sebastian gingerly holding their newly born daughter with wide smiles on their faces. Many more pictures of the three of them followed, all filled with love and happiness.

"Just perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap! I finally finished this fic! I know it's a short epilogue but its the best I could physically do. I hoped you guys enjoyed the conclusion to Lost Time and enjoyed the fic as a whole.


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